I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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