is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
