And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize