I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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