He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
