I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
