12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
