Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
