i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
