Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
