That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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