I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
