Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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