How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
