Plan B is the new Plan A
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
