So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
