So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
