I feel like abortions should bother me more
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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