It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I have post one night stand depression
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
