I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Life is so much better after having sex.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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