Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You are the jesus of drinking
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
