Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
