i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
