I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
