There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
