Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
