And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
