You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
