are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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