The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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