maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
