I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
