apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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