how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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