when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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