Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
They have beer where we have blood.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
