woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
