Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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