you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
