I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
