i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
