I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
