We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
