i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
