Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize