I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
