He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
