puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
