Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
