now i know why i became what i already was.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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