I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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