Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
