just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is the high leading the old right now
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
