This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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