just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
