Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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