I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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