No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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