Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize