Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
